DC

So yeah, I took a two year break from this shit, mainly because I was tired of being so fucking right all the time. But I'm back, because in my time off, I got all introspective and shit, and realized it's my duty to tell people whats right.

And today I'm talking about Washington DC.


First of all, what the FUCK, DC?! You want to be a god damned state now?! I guess you don't feel cool enough you have the capital and barack obama and shit, now you need to be able to be represented because you pay taxes? No fucking way. You know what, if you're going to be a state, then lets move the white house and obama back to minneapolis. why the fuck not?

Also, DC is stupid because it's full of fucking douchebags who like to interupt my conversation at bars. You know what, if my friend and I are talking about giving strangers head, we don't need your dumb ass popping in and asking what the weather is like in Minnesota. Here's a hint: it's fucking cold. it's always fucking cold. If you're hoping for some head, weather talk isn't the best intro....buying me a fucking PBR is.

Also, everyone talks about DC like it's all dangerous and shit. I'm sorry, but a city with NO trash or cigarette butts on the street, isn't dangerous. DC streets are cleaner than a fucking amish lady's house. Stupid.

DC, Get with it, you're not bad ass or awesome. You're like a suburb, but with cooler architecture.