Drunk Typing

Seriously Apple, I spent like 50 bajillion dollars on one of your piece of shit computers, and it can't even detect that I'm MAYBE too drunk to be typing?! In the last post, I initially spelled "cuff" as "cough." How EMBARRASSING. Thank fucking god I re-read everything I write because it's so fucking brilliant and insightful. But seriously. I can fucking make some piece of shit African Instrumental song on my mac, but it can't send me a little beepy notice saying "Bitch, you're too drunk to type?" Fuck you, mac.